Humor Archives
He knows if you've been bad or good...
By John
So be good for goodness sake!
Hotel Tango - OpForian Chris
Air Power
By John
Another one for our LEADERSHIP!!!!! files....
HP Awarded Imaging and Printing Contract from United States Air Force
PALO ALTO, Calif., Apr 15, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) -- HP (NYSE:HPQ) today announced that it has been awarded a five-year Blanket Purchase Agreement with the United States Air Force to deploy a breadth of HP single function and multifunction printers, services, supplies and management software.
Ahhh the wild blue yonder has never been bluer.
Cuss-o-meter
By John
Awww horseshit...
Created by OnePlusYou
I guess that makes us work and family safe... not. I *believe* I'm the only blogger here who uses naughty words in his posts, though I highly encourage the rest of the gang to let loose, as we Irish love nothing more than a long, grandiose string of filthy verbiage. The English invented the limerick, but the Irish made it dirty!
I mean, to have an Air Force guy out-curse two Marines, two sailors, and a soldier? Unsat, compadres.
Hotel Tango: Donovan (who is sitting pretty at 6%. You've won this round...)
Ghost Riding HMMWVs
By Charlie
For those of you not familiar with the streets, Ghost Riding is putting your car in 1st gear, and then getting out and dancing while loudly playing bad music.
What happens when soldiers do it?
Hilarity, that's what.
Somewhere a safety officer is quietly weeping...
Friday Stupid Gold Mine
By John
Air drop bloopers. They're what we VMI men call a gratifying spectacle.
Never had so much fun watching my tax dollars wasted....
Fooled Again
By Lt Col P
I had a fine childhood in a good family. I graduated from VMI, and have had a great career in the Marines. I've had good jobs and bad jobs, and am fortunate to have a great one now. I have an absolutely wonderful family, and a good life. Beer is still available in quantity, and guns too, thank God.
Yet, when I saw THIS, I thought, "Boy, your life is now complete. Can it get any better??"
Alas, it was not to be. I looked closer, and remembered the date.
"And I saw a leg"
By John
No matter how often The Onion snidely dumps on Iraq, they never fail to bring teh funny. Kind of in the same way that you're amused by a drunken racist uncle, the comedy of it all has a holy way of washing away the stains of greater ideological sins.
That, or my convictions only run as deep as my funny bone. Enjoy, my fellow hypocrites.
Sunday Super Stupid
By John
In honor of St. Paddy's Day, I give you the absolutely dumbest version of Danny Boy that you'll ever hear. Ever.
I keep telling people to stop reading this idiotic blog, but no one ever listens.
If Chuck Norris had a CAC Card
By John
Hypothetically speaking, of course.
Speaking of the Daily Show
By John
Lt. General William Caldwell, one of military blogging's leading advocates, sat in with Jon Stewart this past Monday.
Odds, ends...
By Charlie
Nuclear engineers from North Korea are in Syria. Probably just vacationing sunny Damascus! Move along, nothing to see here...
Next: In California, a foster kid wants to join the Marines. Fine, good on him. BUT: you need a judge's approval if you're a ward of the state (Apparently. I didn't know that) and the judge, is... well.. opinionated:
"The judge said she didn't support the Iraq war for any reason why we're over there," said Marine recruiter Sgt. Guillermo Medrano of the Simi Valley USMC recruiting office."She just said all recruiters were the same - that they `all tap dance and tell me what I want to hear.' She said she didn't want him to fight in it."
What the hell is wrong with California? First the Berkley thing, now this?
Finally, from the fertile brains of a bunch of bored British soldiers, its FOB: the Musical!
Funny. Gay, but funny. I'm starting to think that bored soldiers are better sources of creativity than Hollywood. This could be something that Hollywood could tap in to, perhaps, except that California wants nothing to do with us because we're all imperialist stormtroopers who kill puppies and were duped into joining by crafty, evil, recruiters. So, they're content to keep churning out crap like Lost.
Iraqi AAA Roadside Assistance
By John
Lowry sent this to me and I about shit I laughed so hard. Starts off a little slow, but cash money ending.
Bullshit Bingo!
By Charlie
Hey staff officers and anybody working at Brigade-level or above!
Sick of buzzwords and meaningless phrases spouted off by self-important people seeking to prove their intellect? Stuck in a meeting observing this? Stand by, for Bullshit Bingo!
This hearkens back to the larger "language" problem that the Army has. To wit:
Military terminology is supposed to be succinct, clear, and easily understood by everyone. In other words, "attack" and "defend" have certain doctrinal definitions that are (or should be) easily comprehended by all soldiers. I can't tell you how many times I've had to whip out the FM 101-5-1 and explain to someone what, exactly, an NAI, or PIR is.
Corporate America's lexicon can get as wacky as it wants, but the military should firewall itself off from this temptation. Words mean things, and keeping military terminology clear and concise should be something we try to work towards.
Read More »
Watch that Recoil
By Charlie
Yeah, its old. Funny, though.
UN Estimates There are More Than 250,000 Child Soldiers Worldwide
By Charlie
Sad:
The United Nations estimates there are more than a quarter million children worldwide who are being drawn into armed conflict as child soldiers. Internally displaced children living in camps are at special risk. ...Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon warns in his annual report to the Security Council that internal displacement and the recruitment of children as soldiers are closely linked. Refugee and IDP camps are prime recruiting grounds due to the concentration of vulnerable children in them..
But, funny:
Report: American Schools Trail Behind World In Aptitude Of Child Soldiers
Warning!!
By John
"Terroristas" spotted in the mainland US!
"Preferably Within An Hour"
By Lt Col P
Bored Marines, a video camera, an unsuspecting cabbie...
Now, that's comedy.
I think Slab would share the sentiment. Hell, maybe Slab produced and directed this clip.
Vast Engineering Conspiracy hits Hollywood!
By John
Caught the new Nicholas Cage flick, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets, earlier this week. Our resident engineering troll Bullnav must have taken advantage of the writers' strike and snuck some input into the script, because the main villain -played by Ed Harris- was described as a history major from the Virginia Military Institute.
Lt Col P and I are terribly offended. Or flattered. One of the two, anyway.
Well, That's One Way to PT
By John
West Pointers at their finest....
No, You Divert Your Course
By John
It's an old Navy myth that the Navy insists never happened. But that doesn't make this commercial for Silva navigation any less funny.
No doubt that at some point in history, another milblogger has posted this. It ain't exactly fresh material. What can I say? There's no news coming out of Iraq, I need filler.
Dated or not, it still makes me laugh.
As for real Navy humor? You can't beat the Brits:
The former Soviet navy regarded the Black Sea as a private lake and disliked naval intrusions. In the early 1960s a British destroyer flotilla entered the Black Sea and the Russians rushed some cruisers out at high speed and closed in...
Russian cruisers signalled urgently: "What are you doing in the Black Sea?"
Reply: "Twenty-one knots".
Course the Ruskies got their own jabs in:
A Soviet 'trawler' had been shadowing a NATO exercise for several days taking notes and gathering SIGINT.As the ships queued up to refuel a British frigate signalled her: "Do you require refuelling?"
Reply: "Not if your exercise finishes on time".
Baaaaaaaaah!
Oh for God's Sake
By John
Dennis Miller, another pro-victory centurion, summed up his frustration with the Iraqi people: It's like playing Stratego with Charles Manson. He makes a few good moves and you think, 'Hey, Charlie's got it together.' Then he shoves the dice up his ass.
On that note, I was just reading a dead tree story on how the Iraqi Army and police have been making some remarkable strides...
...and then I saw this:
Excuse me if watching a squad of Iraqi troops flailing around like a bunch of retarded spider monkeys doesn't inspire much confidence.
I know, I know. I'm still on board guys, relax. But jeez...
Heh, kinda funny though.
Hotel Tango: Pia
Nevermore!
By Lt Col P
John has his "Obligatory Halloween Thriller Post" -- John, just how old were you in '82?? I'll see your King of Pop and raise you a Poe-m, to wit, the greatest reading of "The Raven" eva.
RAPID UPDATE-- Dammit, Beavis!! The youtube link doesn't work, so you'll have to make do with the original text.
Enjoy.
Update 2 (John): Got it fixed. This was a great call on Col P's part. I think that "stupid seraphim" is the quote of the day.
Speaking of Slab
By John
He had the quote of the year in an email this morning:
So far, it's been an effing boring deployment. [My wife] asked what I wanted for Christmas, and I said "Insurgents." I don't know that we've necessarily turned the corner out here, but they're definitely on their heels and reeling.
A Kinder, Gentler Private Security Service
By John
Image is everything, even in shady world of private security contracting. So leading US security firm Blackwater, after a string of bad press, is launching a new PR offensive.... complete with a shiny new logo and everything.
Okay, maybe that's not their new logo. But a bunch of folks (including this guy) who read the Danger Room blog think it should be. Click through the image to vote on your favorite.
Aside. I feel for Blackwater. They've got a bunch of dorks running around calling them mercenaries, without even knowing what a mercenary is (foreign soldiers hired by a foreign government to fight its wars). That's a far cry from an American company running protective services for diplomats out in Iraq. But y'know these anti-war folks... they get all hysterical sometimes.
So go soothe their volatile emotions by voting for a pretty, kid-friendly logo already.
Hotel Tango: Blackfive
Sure, Why Not?
By John
The Cold War Unicorns Play Set allows you to play out the intense struggle between two global superpowers in the majestic fantasy world of the Unicorn! Can the Communist Unicorn’s horn of classless social structure hold up against the Freedom Unicorn’s hooves of capitalist opportunity? Each hard vinyl unicorn is 3-3/4" tall with articulated joints for all sorts of dramatic poses.
Guaranteed to appeal to.... well just about no one. Minus some smartass old war planners/merry pranksters dwelling deep in the bowels of the Pentagon, I suppose.
Although, I gotta confess. Part of me wants to click "order," just so I can live out my Cold War Rocky IV fantasy. Y'know, where Communist Unicorn trained in state-of-the-art Soviet facilities, with a team coaches and doctors, and was injected with performance-enhancing steroids.... while Freedom Unicorn sweated it out in a frosty Russian barn, training with nothing but an old pack mule cart and a cargo-net full of rocks.
Eventually...yes... Freedom Unicorn does go on to avenge his dead friend My Little Pony, killed by Communist Unicorn.
Anyway...
Feel free to stop reading this blog.
Seriously.
Hotel Tango: Farley
"Congratulations, Mister Mayor. San Francisco is now France."
By John
No, seriously.That's a direct quote.
Blunt, yo.
That's how military.com rolls.
Miller Harpoons Lynne Stewart
By Lt Col P
Michelle Malkin reported on this loathsome collaborator the other day-- no picture here, I can't stand the sight of her. (Although maybe a "sight picture" of her...)
Yesterday, Dennis Miller harpooned her, as only he can, with, "I hope Queequeg is on this one..."
Brilliant.
Video Of The Day: Achmed The Dead Terrorist
By Lt Col P
Via the 10-8 Forums. It's already been removed from YouTube, so enjoy it onLiveLeak while you can.
Ha!
Toilet Humor
By Lt Col P
This has nothing to do with military matters, but I think we can all use a laugh. I know I can. If you aren't amused by, or indeed easily offended by, scatological humor, don't read on.
I have a singing toilet at home. Mrs LtCol P is getting tired of it, so I googled "singing toilet" to see what would come up. I got this, which in addition to being informative, rewarded me with unforeseen amusements, to wit-- innocuous references to...
Read More »
Triumphal Macho-Geeks!
By John
The American Prospect blog is making fun of me (I think!!??).
Goldfarb notes the killing of reputed al-Qaeda car-bomb specialist Abu Yaqub al-Masri, and links to this wonderful post that I think perfectly captures the deliriously triumphal macho-geek essence of the species warblogger.
My totally rad Legion of Doom metaphor followed.
But dude, take out "delirious" and I consider that a big fat compliment. In fact, I might have to change our name from OPFOR to "Triumphal Macho-Geeks."
Gawd I do love how victory talk makes them fidget.
Duss continues with:
It's great that we've gotten rid of a guy who was blowing up civilians. It's tragic that we created a situation where he could practice and perfect his craft, and teach it to others. Before popping the corks over the death of the Toyman, we should consider that he's created dozens of other Toymen, who will in turn create dozens more.
Stop being such a Negative Nancy, Duss. I'm not sure where anti-war folks developed this Fantasia view of terrorists, where killing one somehow automatically means another two pop up out of his corpse, but it ain't realistic. You know what really creates more terrorists?
Weakness.
So take note. Killing the enemy is a good thing. Savor it. Relish it. Don't make it political baby, Al'Qa'ida is at 25% of it's pre-9/11 strength... they haven't been multiplying, they've been dividing... into tiny, little JDAM baked pieces. Rejoice and be glad.
Reminds me of that bit from Patton:
Capt. Oskar Steiger: [inside the German bunker] Sir, the Americans have taken Palermo!General Alfred Jodl: Damn!
Messenger: [after pulling up to Monty's command post] Sir, Patton's taken Palermo!
Field Marshal Sir Bernard Law Montgomery: Damn!
Also, note to the wannabe Dr. Phils in their comments section. I'm active duty military, so your deep, insightful theories on how I'm not in touch with the reality of war is kind of... eh, dumb.
Prepare to have your mind blown
By John
The United States Naval Academy. Just one big lie.
It's not a school at all. It's the military, bro. The military.
I'm a little late making the rounds on this gem, but the tone.... like that of a teacher patiently instructing her second grade class.... makes it too damn good to pass up.
Columbia's student newspaper, The Spectator, blows the lid off of the 200 year old conspiracy:
When I looked at the course catalogue, which boasted seminars about leadership and selflessness, they were in fact seminars about weaponry and leading troops into combat. The reality of sending my brother to the Naval Academy began to set in: this was not a school; this was the military. While they boast a first class education, the main goal of this institution was to get my brother “combat ready.” During the first two “induction days,” the head of the Navy openly admitted that their goal was to transform these boys into men who would willingly die defending our country. They said to my parents, “We will manage to do in 18 minutes what you could not do in 18 years—we will discipline your boys and have them calling you Sir and Ma’am.” When they talked of courage and bravery, they showed a video of a Navy marine rounding off an unlimited supply of ammunition. During my brother’s plebe summer (his first summer), he could not talk to us for more than a few minutes once a week for fear that we might unduly influence him.My brother ended up liking Annapolis and he has decided to stay. While it has been difficult for me to accept that I have a brother in the military, I must allow him to pursue whatever path he is drawn toward, and he has admitted to me that he feels called to being there. However, for anyone else out there considering a career in the academy, let it be known: the U.S. Naval Academy is not an elite college; it is first and foremost a branch of the U.S. military and the prestige comes at a big price—it taxes parents, siblings, and participants if they do not understand what they were signing up for.
Hotel Tango: Goldfarb, who writes "And this is only the first installment of a four-part series. Newsroom sources say part two will reveal that the United States Military Academy is, in fact, operated by the United States Army, and this despite the fact that the word 'Army' appears nowhere in the name of the "school."
The bastards.
VMI Hurricane
By John
Tailgates and helicopters don't mix, folks. A thousand thank-yous to reader and retired Army helicopter pilot Graham T., who sends photos and wisdom: "one hundred MPH rotor wash will do this."
Hilarity here:
The humanity.....
LtCol P says... Oh the humanity?? Oh the Class of 89!! From multiple sources, and confirmed by One Who Is Close To Barracks, I am pleased to say this aircraft was piloted by a member of the Class of 89! Please join me and BullNav in an Old Yell.
Sure, We May Not Win Football Games....
By John
....but you can't beat our tailgates (stolen shamelessly from the VMI alumni message boards).
There was one exciting moment at the W&M game. I arrived late with a BR and as we were about to troop from around Commandant's house across parade ground (a deck is in the back of my house) to the stadium, two Naval Service helicopters landed behind Stonewalls Statue (show and tell after the game) and the downdraft promptly blew away the first row of tents to include food, chairs, etc. set up in tailgate area of parade ground. The Parents Council area was devastated. After determining nobody got hurt, it was worth a laugh and a fine prelude to the game which followed. I think the pilots were from the damp side of the Naval Service – undoubtedly USMC pilots would have taken out more tents.Bert Graham `74
Attention VMI helicopter pilots! I've found an LZ for The Military Classic of the South. Land here:
Air Power!
By John
So Blackfive has a great post up on the worst military recruiting commercials of all time that's worth a look. I was most pleased to see that the Marine Corps lava monster commercial made Matt's list, an ad that no doubt elicited an uproarious whiskey tango foxtrot!!??? from Marines worldwide.
Not to toot my own service's horn here, but I challenge any of the branches to top the Air Force's moving Lullaby tv spot:
Still gives me goosebumps.
Although a more realistic version of today's Air Force can be seen here:
4... 3... 2... 1...
By Lt Col P
Via the 10-8 Forums, the last four seconds of a worthless pig's life...
I don't know about you, but that made my day.
Soar Falcons, Soar
By John
No doubt this guy was also on the business end of an extended, O-course safety briefing/powerpoint presentation.....
This is your Air Force!
And looks like a dummy M-16 to boot!
Question though. Is that any worse than the real M-14s with their firing pins removed that we carried as VMI cadets?
Hotel Tango: Military Motivator
Better Living Through Bathroom Etiquette
By John
Heh, alright this was pretty funny.
Name the Future Combat System!
By John
The Army needs a new name for its gazillion-dollar modernization plan, Future Combat Systems. Let's help 'em out. Yesterday,we got dozens of suggestions for what to call the mega-ambitious, budget-busting program. Our panel of experts has narrowed the field down to ten handles. Now it's time to vote on the best one.To save the Army a few bucks on graphics, the winning name will get a custom-designed logo, courtesy of the Robot Economist. (He's already done one up for his choice.) Hit it!
Follow the link to weigh in. I don't want to sway hearts and minds or anything, but Battle-Oriented Optical Networking Data Operations Ground-Geared Linkage Elements (BOONDOGGLE) has my vote.
Mud
By John
Iced Tea came out my nose....
Here's the link to the original photo, which comes from the Air Force website. Air Force public affairs has really been hitting the Academy basic training course hard this summer.
Click through the pic for the Hotel Tango. Plenty more where that came from.
Canadian Combat Art
By Lt Col P
Most of you regulars will know that I'm a big fan of my fellow Marine, Mike Fay's, combat art.
By way of The Torch, I have found his Canadian doppelganger.
Would that make Mr Johnson...
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Kings of the Road
By John
Col. Patrick calls it "Middle East Driving 101," I call it "Owning the freakin' road 101."
Nothing says "move it" like singing a little bumper music to the poor rusted jalopy in your front sites, eh?
**NAUGHTY LANGUAGE WARNING**
Hotel Tango: Duty in the Desert
The World's Stupidest Fatwas
By John
My favorite? Pokemon:
Denouncing the lovable Japanese cartoon characters as having “possessed the minds” of Saudi youngsters, Saudi Arabia’s highest religious authority banned Pokémon video games and cards in the spring of 2001. Not only do Saudi scholars believe that Pokémon encourages gambling, which is forbidden in Islam, but it is apparently a front for Israel as well. The fatwa’s authors claimed that Pokémon games include, “the Star of David, which everyone knows is connected to international Zionism and is Israel’s national emblem.” Religious authorities in the United Arab Emirates joined in, condemning the games for promoting evolution, “a Jewish-Darwinist theory that conflicts with the truth about humans and with Islamic principles,” but didn’t ban them outright. Even the Catholic Church in Mexico got into the act, calling Pokémon video games “demonic.”
These guys need to get a life in such a bad way.
Our Elite Academies
By John
Heh. Soar Falcons, soar!
Pat Sajak needed a second to find the words....
Course I have an idea of how it'd look if the AFA cadet switched places with a VMI man:
Hotel Tango: Chick Pilot
Gay Explosion!
By John
Pentagon Confirms it Sought to Build 'Gay Bomb" - A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting.Pentagon officials on Friday confirmed to CBS 5 that military leaders had considered, and then subsquently rejected, building the so-called "Gay Bomb."
Edward Hammond, of Berkeley's Sunshine Project, had used the Freedom of Information Act to obtain a copy of the proposal from the Air Force's Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio.
As part of a military effort to develop non-lethal weapons, the proposal suggested, "One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior."
Seems like a short term solution, as far as non-lethal options go. Unless the eggheads at Wright-Patt also figured out a way to chemically engineer Viagra into an aresol agent to go with...
And maybe attach a giant disco ball to the underbelly of a stealthy, gaydar evading HH-60 designed to hover over a target area while blasting ABBA's "Dancing Queen".....
Hey, it is the Air Force.
Your Air Force, people.
Hotel Tango: Lex, who always seems to be one step ahead....
Scurrry Airplanes Return!
By John
San Frans want Blue Angels out:
SAN FRANCISCO - The annual aerial show by the U.S. Navy’s Blue Angels — a San Francisco tradition dating back to 1981 that pumps millions into the local economy — is running into opposition from three local peace advocacy groups that are calling for a permanent halt to the popular Fleet Week flyover.Which reminded me of this letter the editor from last year's Bay Area fleet week:
CodePink, Global Exchange and Veterans for Peace, Chapter 69, are working with Supervisor Chris Daly on a Board of Supervisors resolution to address concerns over the Blue Angels.Daly acknowledged he is considering a call to halt the flyovers because, he said, “they seem dangerous and unnecessary.” Daly said he plans on introducing the resolution as early as Tuesday, but is still drafting the language. A resolution is not legally binding, but states a board position.
Editor -- Thank you, Fleet Week. My preschool-aged daughter, having heard your airplanes overhead all week, is now completely traumatized and afraid to go outside. She just heard a commercial airliner in the sky and ran inside shrieking, shaking, and trying to close all the windows and doors. We tried to have a fun family weekend enjoying free music in our park, but it was ruined by the thundering sound of those hateful airplanes overhead, forcing her (and most of the other children I saw) to throw her hands over her face and cower.If there is ever an opportunity for me to vote on any proposition keeping this ridiculous event and huge waste of resources from marring the skies of my city again, you can bet I'll be the first in line to get it voted in.
You know, in a way - and no offense to the real people living in and about the bay area, SJBill - this would kind of be a relief. As a city, San Francisco has long ago stopped pretending that they support their military. We could stop pretending that we like San Francisco.We don’t have to like San Francisco. We get paid to defend them. It’s our job.
The rest of the country?
We’re doing that for free.
Heh. An okay guy, Lex.
Sounds About Right
By John
Apparently the Air Force is collecting butterflies in LA. I'm serious, read the contract.
Actually Vandenberg AFB....Vandyland, where said collection is to take place...is about 2 hours north of Los Angeles. It's also a wildlife habitat of sorts, I used to spot all kinds of game on their wooded jogging trails when I was stationed there.
Still, Vandy's primary mission is spacelift....other wise known as the launching of giant, polluting rockets that slip the surly bonds of earth and stick equally giant NRO spy birds into polar orbit.
The mission is NOT entomology. What is this hippy crap?
Hotel Tango: The Dew Line via Danger Room.
Art Imitates Life...
By Lt Col P
... In the pages of Day By Day, yesterday and today. I feel Zed's pain.
That comic strip is a national asset. I only wish there was a password-protected version, if you know what I mean...
Safety First, Mission Second
By John
So a couple of years back, an Air Force chief of staff declared that it was his intention to "reduce accidents by 50%." Every since, we've been the nanny service....where the Air Force's first and last line of defense against accidents is a cumbersome, poorly crafted "safety briefing."
Want to drive to the field? Get a safety brief. Climb a ladder? Safety brief. Take a weekend? Safety brief. We've even dedicated an entire season to this service-wide hand holding, awkwardly labeled "101 critical days of summer," where we get....even more safety briefs! (Last year, one of my fellow CGOs kept a broken thumb secret for a full six weeks because, in his words, "I just can't take another 101 critical days of summer briefing.")
So naturally the entire Air Force safety program has turned into one giant punchline. Por ejemplo....
Earlier today, I was watching some maintainers fix one of our broken toys. A staff sergeant, out of sight, slightly burned his hand, and let out a tremendous yelp. In comes a concerned looking Senior Airman, who sprints up to our wounded Sergeant and hollers "Sarge are you ok? DO YOU NEED A SAFETY BRIEF?"
I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to throw up.
Top Aviation Movies of All Time
By John
Chic[k] Pilot laments the top ten list, as selected by 10k readers of Air Venture:
The champion is "Top Gun," the 1986 blockbuster that starred Tom Cruise (an EAA member), Kelly McGillis, Tom Skerritt, Val Kilmer, Anthony Edwards and several other stars in a drama based at the U.S. Navy's "Top Gun" fighter training school. The movie, which was the biggest grossing film in the U.S. that year, will be shown during EAA AirVenture Oshkosh 2007 at the event's Fly-In Theater, presented by Ford Motor Company and Eclipse Aviation. ....... The finalists were the 10 most-nominated films by EAA members earlier this year, who submitted more than 140 aviation movies. Others in the final poll included "Battle of Britain" (1969) with 11.8 percent; "Spirit of St. Louis" (1957) and "The Great Waldo Pepper" (1975), each with 8.6 percent; "Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines" (1965) 7.1 percent; "The Flight of the Phoenix" (1965) 5.2 percent; "The High and the Mighty" (1954) with 4.0 percent and "The Blue Max" (1966) with 4.0 percent
CP posted the top five in list form, which probably wouldn't have killed Air Venture to do themselves:
1. Top Gun
2. Twelve O'Clock High
3. Memphis Belle
4. Battle of Britain
5. Spirit of St. Louis
Top Gun over Memphis Belle? I'm sure it had nothing to do with the screenplay: "She's a civilian, so you DO NOT salute her."
Well....Alright Then
By John
Certain ladies in the milblogging community have informed me that I simply must post this:
I think they got the story wrong though, that's a shot of my homecoming at the Denver Airport, not the bleacher section of a lacrosse game.
It's Flashman Day, Damn Your Eyes!
By Lt Col P
This weekend is not only the 2nd Annual MilBlog Conference and Son & Heir's second birthday, but it's also Harry Flashman's birthday. To those of you who are Flashman fans, he needs no introduction. However, to the uninitiated, he is the most magnificently vile, awful, lecherous, treacherous, cowardly scoundrel you could imagine. He is, in fact, the greatest soldier that never lived.
Who fled for his life during the retreat from Kabul, and was later hailed as the gallant sole survivor? Why, it's old Flash Harry! Who was that paleface seen valiantly cutting down the Sioux at Little Bighorn, or errr, rather trying to save himself from one of his own most despicable acts? It's Colonel Flashman, God Bless 'im! Who was it that toadied his betters from India to England, bullied his inferiors nearly from pole to pole, and never passed up a chance to debauch a lady of any race, creed or nationality? Why, it's the hero of Balaclava!
The genius of the Flashman books is their unimpeachable historical accuracy, save of course for Flashman himself, and he is a borrowed work of fictional genius. One can learn so much from them that they should be classed as faction instead of fiction. The Great Game, the American Civil War, the slave trade, the Opium Wars, the Indian Mutiny, and God knows what else. It's all there in great detail, told by one of history's greatest cads.
So to Flashman fans new and old, raise a glass this weekend to Sir Harry. Don't we all wish we could be him for a day!
Late addition... The "editor" of the Flashman Papers is none other than the author of Quartered Safe Out Here, one of the best memoirs of WWII.
A Modest Proposal on the Tops in Blue
By John
Chic[k]pilot writes of our festive military road show:
I wince at the mention of tops in blue. As a cadet I was forced to see them perform so the auditorium was not empty. I will never claim them. If anyone is mad at where money is going, they should be mad at that.I like it. I'm sure we'd save a cool 1-2 mil by axing them. And hey, it'd make someone in the bloated Air Force acquisitions structure happy. "Hot dog! Look..General, we can afford another 1/200th of an F-22!"
Three Morals
By John
You know, Aesop doesn't hold a candle to the simple wisdom of military grunts. I owe this beautiful bit of guidance to one of the wing's Senior Master Sergeants.
It's an NCO tale, so the language is a bit salty.
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Muir Nails It
By John
I'm laughing, but crying on the inside. Truth hurts.
Deep War Thought of the Day
By John
“If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.” ~Jack Handy
Complexity
By John
What's that old saying about simplicity being key to victory??
Hotel Tango: Chic[k] Pilot, which is an appropriate enough name for her blog, I suppose.
And What's the Deal With....
By John
Guinness? Seriously.
Seems like everyone I know who likes the stuff turns into this religious devotee of the famous Irish brew. I'm not criticizing, mind you (Lex would have my head). I just want to understand the phenomena.
It's great beer, sure. And I suppose my Irish Catholic roots dictate that I'm somehow genetically predisposed to liking the stuff. But loving? Like a puppy? Or a sister? Or a...heh, deity?
Tell me. Teach me.
And yes, I know that if you make a proper Irish carbomb, the stuff mixed with Jamison's and Bailey's will give you a delish chocolate milk taste. Right before the Bailey's curdles. Mmmmmm.
Totally Team Thompson
By John
After seeing Will Collier's campaign slogan:
I've spent the last 10 minutes laughing and gasping for air.