Duffel Blog Reviews Top 5 MREs

We need a laugh. And here’s one of DB’s best. DIY Gatorade tastes like Mountain Dew and asparagus pee. It provides a quick energy boost, which will allow you to continue jerking off in the porta-john while you peek out at Sgt. Tamzarian doing CrossFit in her sports bra. … These pasta curls resemble the ears of dead gooks my Vietnam vet uncle keeps in a sack in his old footlocker. They taste exactly the same too. … The corn nuts have a delightful hint of chode. The dried fruit reposes sullenly in your mouth like a flaccid dong … That’s just […]

Vespa (Anti-Tank Variant)

I’M NOT KIDDING. In the 1950s France, in the midst of dealing with insurgencies in its colonies in Algeria and Indochina, recognized a military need for easily transportable artillery that could quickly be deployed to the front lines. It happened upon one very novel solution: a militarized Vespa scooter with a built-in armor-piercing gun. The Vespa 150 TAP, built by French Vespa licensee ACMA, was designed expressly to be used with the French airborne special forces, the Troupes Aéro Portées (TAP). Read the whole thing, and be sure to watch the video. I wonder if it’d work on a KLR650??

“Correct, But Wish to Explain, Sir…”

WOW. This is spectacular. I have not seen a picture of the frozen member, only the special. I applaud that cadet.

Laughing at A**holes

For those of you have wondered why we haven’t had much to say directly about the Paris outrages– well, what else is there to say? I don’t mean to be flippant, but it can’t have come as a surprise that Mohammedans go on murderous rampages, or that political correctness in the West has prevented (some of) us from being able to see the dangers ahead, or the stark fact that we are in a war. Yes, we will have more to say and more commentary to point you to as the dust settles and facts become clearer. For now, though, […]

Reveille! Reveille!

Up and at ’em, ready to splat ’em! Shake off the torpor, we’re back from a short Thanksgiving break. I don’t know what you people have been up to, but *I* got Deer #3 on Saturday morning. To ease your transition from indolence back to productive routine, here’s a Duffel Blog classic– the First Sergeant’s Prayer. Enjoy!

“Encyclopedia of Ethical Failure”

Regular reader and sometime commenter MDL passed this on, with the note, “This is why the taxpayer gets angry.” “Imaginary Ball and Chain Drags Staff Sergeants Down” is one highlight. The Army pays its soldiers a monthly housing allowance. Married soldiers get more cash than singles do. To game the system, one sergeant convinced his girlfriend to pretend to be his wife. He even forged a marriage license to substantiate the union. He took taxpayers for almost $30,000 in healthcare and housing. The relationship must have gone sour, though,” the report reads. “She ended up turning him in to military […]

How one Keydet got assigned to the 101st

It was mid-August, and a group of Guardian Angels were sitting in the shade of the trees surrounding Fryar Drop Zone. Two angels popped in, carrying brown drink carriers loaded with coffee. All the angels but one crowded around to get their drink. Double whipped lattes, machiatos, and one quadruple espresso no sugar or cream. That last was for the angel guarding a marine. He grunted his joy, sounding more like a hog. ‘Ooh ooh oohrah yeah!’ “How can you drink that?” asked one angel. “OOH RAH! My human’s a Marine! He’s going to be a rough, tough Recon Scout […]

When English gets in the way of understanding

Is this Pentagonian, or some weird mutation from Wharton? This is a helpful guide to understanding a boss who’s knowledge is one business article deep. Please feel free to add to this list. 1.     Reach Out – Just say call, speak, email etc. Unless you’re physically going to touch someone. 2.     Take off line – Talk about this later. Alternate: you’re embarrassing  the boss 3.     Shift the goal post – This is just a sports metaphor for saying your goal was out of reach. 4.     Utilize – use! 5.     Elephant in the room – Unless it’s an actual elephant, this […]

Dunford Takes Charge (via Duffel Blog)

Just a little humor for a Monday. (Yes, it appeared Friday but I didn’t have the chance to post it until now.) The video, titled “Marines peeing on navy pilot” has already gone viral, prompting a sharp rebuke from Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel… But seriously– welcome back General, and congratulations. What took you so long??

Wehrmacht Humor

Heh. How does the saying go? “You might be cool, but you’ll never be Wehrmacht motorcycle trooper riding through burned out Europe with your pet kitten cool.”