HA! FORT HOOD, TX – As conventional budget cuts loom on the heels of sequestration, leaders across the military are considering innovative and helpful ways to lower operating costs without hurting unit training or weapons qualifications. However, one common-sense suggestion — “a no-brainer” according to one Pentagon official — has ruined at least one officer’s career on the sprawling Army base of Fort Hood. The suggestion: shrink the enormous 1st Cavalry Division patch down to a size comparable to the rest of the military. Yeah– why is that thing so big? Remember, we Marines nixed the division patches on the uniforms because they’re [...]
MDL sent this in. Pretty neat. “Now Dave Uhrig, a Chillicothe, Ohio, tank broker…” Only in America. I love it.
Making the rounds today… In keeping with the latest round of DOD budget cuts, changes will be made to the Joint Travel Regulations (JTR). Effective Monday, 11 February, the following revised procedures for DoD personnel apply: Lodging: All DoD personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. Transportation: Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. [...]
Over at the Duffel Blog the latest planning tool has been introduced.
They’ve done it again. Other Marines reported more graphic depictions of sex acts and the ensuing pitfalls. “Hey, don’t be a dummy, cum on her tummy. We don’t want to add or detract from the population this weekend,” said Bowling, according to witnesses at the brief. “He kept using these weird code words and innuendo,” said LCpl. Jeff Storm. “Stuff like ‘if you’re planning on sending rounds downrange, use a blank adaptor, because you don’t want to get rodded off the range.’” Annddd, it goes downhill from there. :-) You’ll love it. The best part of course is that haven’t [...]
THIS is pure genius. PASHTYLVANIA, AFGHANISTAN – Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford, Jr. confirmed late yesterday that he has accepted a wager to spend no less than one year in the supposedly haunted command of United States Forces – Afghanistan (USFOR-A). Legend has it that there is a terrible curse on the command, located deep in the foreboding mountains of Afghanistan, and that inexplicably bad things happen to the careers of unwary commanders. “I don’t like this,” says Dunford’s career, folding its arms and staring out of Dunford’s car at the darkening sky as they drive up the winding switchbacks toward [...]
Had a stroke of genius today while ruminating on a possible creative venture. I think it would be great fun to make a porn video that re-enacts, in exact detail and with an eye toward correct uniforms and rank insignia, the evidence and testimony in BG Sinclair’s court martial proceedings. Sort of a dramatized documentary– a cock-umentary, if you will– but with no artistic license taken. Just a strict adherence to the facts and evidence. And I have the perfect title: “A ‘Star’ Is Porn.” And an even better idea: use young Army vets for the actors. What former SPC [...]
DuffelBlog hits it again! Although emotions surrounding this news have been mostly positive from the prisoners, the news has its naysayers. “This is bullshit!” cried prisoner SA15-2-12. “I filled out all of the forms like they said and mailed them to my regional office in Spokane, Washington. I was enrolled in school and they said it was fine if I didn’t pay up front. Now I’ve just been dropped from all my classes because my claim hasn’t been processed yet and the school hasn’t been paid! I’d rather be force-fed pork and be sprayed with a fire hose than wait [...]
Waaaaay too close to reality. Uhhh… Or so I’m told. Navy brass is now scrambling to keep sailors away from bar hog Tiffany McCarthey, 24, a carrier of drug-resistant gonorrhea that has spread to sailors all throughout the fleet. I wouldn’t know anything about that.
You knew this was coming! And it’s just the kind of crass, tasteless and inappropriate material that I like most: THE PENTAGON -Both the United States Army and Marine Corps are facing startling allegations of misconduct against millions of military members, including charges of forcible sodomy, according to an announcement from Pentagon officials on Friday. HA.