You knew this was coming! And it’s just the kind of crass, tasteless and inappropriate material that I like most:
THE PENTAGON -Both the United States Army and Marine Corps are facing startling allegations of misconduct against millions of military members, including charges of forcible sodomy, according to an announcement from Pentagon officials on Friday.
HA.
Lest anyone think that the forcible sodomy is limited to junior enlisted, they open up Officers, too. Just TRY and get a travel settlement out of MARFORRES.
The "customer service line" is a euphemism for telephonic foreplay. "Mister so-and-so, is handling your claim, and he is out this week" (after eight or nine weeks of waiting for settlement) is code for "Mister so-and-so has a mop handle and a rubber mallet and he is going to knock that thing so far up there that your tonsils will have splinters".
But I think the electronically-generated derogatory entry into your service record is my favorite. "We know it is in error, but we can't do anything about it, because the computer did it." And, after having to provide and annually verify two phone numbers and three e-mail addresses to MARFORRES, you get "we weren't able to tell you because we don't have any contact information for you."
I gotta go have a sitz bath.
HAHAHAHA
If it's okay for prison…