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Real American Heroes
By John
You know what I think won the Cold War? It wasn't SDI or perestroika or the MX missile, but MacGuyver. You know, before Richard Dean Anderson shaved his mullet, put on dress blues, and went off fighting aliens. Yeah Reagan could field a new bomber, or sub, or ICBM.... but it's not like the Sovs hadn't been countering our kit for the past few decades.
Sorry, but I can just see Gorbachev sitting in his dacha, watching pirated satellite tv, and thinking "what effin' good is a T-72 tank when this asshole is building jetskis out of coffins?" After spending eight years having the love juice kicked out of him by Afghani nomads whose logistical infrastructure consisted of a couple of donkeys, imagine the pscyhological impact of watching MacGuyver turn microwaves into neutron bombs and chemical engineering nitramines out of shit you find under your kitchen sink. Sorry Charlie, but if you can think of a more successful PSYOP initiative, I'm all ears.
And let's consider dates here. MacGuyver ran from the frosty heart of the Cold War 80s until May 1992. That's right. Less than five months after the USSR collapsed, so went our gadget-toting hero. Just enough time to finish out the season. Sans the mighty Soviet bear, the world no longer needed a man who could hold the Fulda Gap with a roll of duct tape and a dirty look.
This guy was perfect. Recognizing wasted talent, White House and Hollywood execs pulled him right off of that crappy military sitcom Emerald Point N.A.S. and stuck him on a propaganda show that intelligence officials knew would strike right into the icy heart of the Soviet Union. A tv drama that reminded the Soviets, even though we're whupping your ass in the arms race, all we really need is a swiss army knife and a bottle of Draino.
So I salute you, Richard Dean Anderson. The world may not know how you single handedly toppled communism, but here at OPFOR, we'll keep a cold one waiting.
Next up: how the A-Team was a front for the Contras in Nicaragua.
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Comments
MacGuyver ... one of the greatest shows on TV, ever! I loved that show, and we need more heros like him. Thanks for the thoughts on this. This brought a smile to my face today.
Oh man, *great* post lol!
1: GREAT POST HAHA!
2: How did Charles in Charge affect the global strategic balance?
http://www.cbs.com/classics/macgyver/video/video.php
Seven season for free viewing over the net!
He's the reason I own a swiss army knife.
The Seventh Season was not all that great. Maybe because it was one of the last ones and the Soviet threat had diminished.
Have you seen MacGruber on SNL? It is hilarious...
well I can't answer on Charles in Charge, I thought that show was a little... well, gay.
BN, great skit! Let me know if you can find any clips online.
Not a bad case! Turn it into a masters or doctoral thesis and I'll really be impressed.
Mac was liberal as hell and antiguns. Remember?
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sold. Ronnie Reagan was, after all, a savvy Hollywood type.
RDA lost me after he went over to Stargate.