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Safety First, Mission Second
By John
So a couple of years back, an Air Force chief of staff declared that it was his intention to "reduce accidents by 50%." Every since, we've been the nanny service....where the Air Force's first and last line of defense against accidents is a cumbersome, poorly crafted "safety briefing."
Want to drive to the field? Get a safety brief. Climb a ladder? Safety brief. Take a weekend? Safety brief. We've even dedicated an entire season to this service-wide hand holding, awkwardly labeled "101 critical days of summer," where we get....even more safety briefs! (Last year, one of my fellow CGOs kept a broken thumb secret for a full six weeks because, in his words, "I just can't take another 101 critical days of summer briefing.")
So naturally the entire Air Force safety program has turned into one giant punchline. Por ejemplo....
Earlier today, I was watching some maintainers fix one of our broken toys. A staff sergeant, out of sight, slightly burned his hand, and let out a tremendous yelp. In comes a concerned looking Senior Airman, who sprints up to our wounded Sergeant and hollers "Sarge are you ok? DO YOU NEED A SAFETY BRIEF?"
I laughed so hard, I thought I was going to throw up.
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Comments
In my day, we had the "Zero Defects" program.
Believe it or not, that worked.
So did my old 750 Honda with all the tricked out speed stuff on it.
If you passed the civilian motorcycle license test, you could ride.
With your sidearm concealed under your arm inside the flight jacket.
Zoomies on cafe racers.
Hey, it wasn't supersonic.
I miss The American Way.
.
That do that crap in the Amry, too. Can't go to the latrine without a safety briefing.
Yup, Army has them too. The worst thing is when you have to give them. I usually say "don't be that guy who f***s up and makes us all listen to another hour of safety briefs!"
Even the higher ups think it's ridiculous. We were doing an awards ceremony and to start it off they played a video lampooning those stupid yellow reflective belts we're supposed to wear.
I get one when I leave a 350 miles radius from base in my own vehicle just because I am not yet 26 years old. I do not recieve that same when I fly the same distance with a student who attempts to kill me a few times along the way.
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You wanna jump through some hoops? Need something to keep you busy for an entire quarter? Feel like being a pain the ass to your supervisor? Wanna talk to the commander one on one just for shits and giggles? Heres what you do...
Try to become a motorcycle rider. If the one on one with the commander, the mandated safety classes, the motorcycle mentoring program, and the safety officer who'd much rather be out in the field worry about work safety doesn't irritate you to the point of giving up on the whole process, then spending half an hour before work trying to find your gloves, reflective Vest, and rolling down your BDU sleeves so you can drive on base in the middle of Summer will. Just don't forget, this isn't only if you want to ride on base, this is if you are in the airforce and you want to ride period.
Time from idea to you on a bike? Anywhere from two months to a year, depending upon just how helpful or unhelpful your safety office and squadron commander are.