AFN- WTF?

"Alcoholism: Why AFN must continually broadcast messages about alcohol abuse to troops living under the prohibitionist General Order #1 confuses me greatly. Are there bars on the base camp that I just haven’t been able to track down yet? Is drinking and driving really that big of a deal in forward areas? Strange."

AFN is broadcast to bases and detachments around the world, not only to combat zones, you know. Iraq was just one of the many places overseas where I've had the "pleasure" of watching horrible AFN commercials. And yes, they are just as dumb even when you ARE able to drink.

Having pondered the same questions since being deployed to Okinawa in 1991, the only answer I can offer is that it's a great object lesson in the inferiority of a state-generated solution versus a market-derived solution. None of that stupid shit would survive enterprise broadcasting.

Just wait for the Superbowl, buddy. You think AFN is going to let any multi-million dollar Superbowl commercials overshadow their shining examples of mediocrity?

By the way, someone should get fired over those pathetic attempts to rip off the Terry Tate commercials. I'm sure they'll get at least a Meritorious Service Medal instead.

By the way, someone should get fired over those pathetic attempts to rip off the Terry Tate commercials. I'm sure they'll get at least a Meritorious Service Medal instead.

Just another OPR bullet!!

ps- Charlie, if you've got time to talk with the gf, you've got time to shoot me an email.

Email me bastard! Col P, Lightning, and I need to ping you on something.

i hated that at every night at 6:00 P.M. AFN was going to show the Simpsons never not even once in the 13 months i was there did i get to see that at dinner! or during the super bowl i had a 36 hour mission, and i still waited up to see the game! and i didn't even care about the game i just wanted to see dumn stuff they had at breaks and i learned about how to a defensive driver! yea bite me you drive like normal when a 13 year old throws a grenade at you

In Saudi we used to get some pretty good stuff on ARAMCO and local TV. The latter often had pretty good belly dancing from God knows where which they ran late at night. Can you get anything other than AFN?

Sounds dumbed down, for sure. In Vietnam, the ones I remember best were about not forgetting to clean your weapons so they didn't jam and to keep your telephone conversations secure because Charlie might be listening in. They seemd more oriented to the big base camps where people had telephones to use and might forget to clean weapons they never used.

Oddities: I saw one yesterday that urged me to “stop global warming.” Great -how? How can I stop something that may or may not even exist, and what can I do to stop it? What if I don’t want it to stop? It’s getting freaking cold here anyway! Why is AFN filling my brain with such things?

It's a brave new world.

{sigh}

And support commands don't understand why the troops don't take more advantage of the 'entertainment' options.

What? You mean they took the helpful and mind-numbingly idiotic commisary shopping tips off the air?

When I was in the military I was always surprized that I could watch or listen to AFN. Weather it was in Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam, Korea, or Europe. It felt good to get the information on the latest news as well as sports. We used to get "The Shadow, Green Hornet, and "the Bickersons" as well as "Fiber Mcgee and Molly". I know I never would have heard them otherwise. What commercials?

Sure, we get all the responsible drinking messages...

Then we get sent to Qatar for R&R where it's structured to encourage you to drink as much as you are allowed as quickly as possible.

Mixed message much?

The safety ones are meant for that 10% of the rank and file who can't find their arses with both hands and wind up injurying themselves and/or others by smoking where they shouldn't, playing quick draw with pistols they forgot to unload and otherwise not following procedures. It never hurts to repeatedly drill this into the minds of the enlisted, it may wind up saving someone's life.

Alcohol is availible everywhere, iraq is swimming in the stuff, and afghanistan has had a couple cases of people making themselves seriously ill off moonshine.

The will & grace, i won't ask and please lord don't tell.

Hi -

As a civilian expat living on the economy in Germany (never served: 4F from day one), I really enjoy AFN.

You gotta think of it as small-town programming: I've driven across the country (US) at least a dozen times, and I always got a kick out of the Farm Reports in Iowa and the Surf Reports in LA. Local radio is everything.

But it did take me about 2 years to find out what a BSB was. Then it was: duh. :-)

Deployed? What the?! It's good to get back to OPFOR. I haven't been around in a while because -- you're really going to get a kick out of this -- I took command of AFN here in Korea. No shit! I've course, now I've drunk all the kool-aid here and am fully immersed in the corporate culture. I do want to say that I agree with Lt Col P about this being evidence of a state-run versus free-market enterprise; believe me, I'd love to be able to make a profit and the subsequent re-investments therefrom.

On the commercials, let me split hairs by saying that the commercials come from AFRTS not AFN...you know, just forget that part because it's not going to make a difference to anyone but me :)

As for the Superbowl commercials: The owners of the programming, i.e. the NFL, are the ones that won't let you see the commercials because we're supposed to be "non-profit". That's why we get the superbowl at all.
Even those of us here at AFN-Korea would like to see the SB commercials.

It's good to see that things are still going well for you guys. Drop me a line sometime.

Mike Lawhorn
kosovodad@yahoo.com

The ones I hate the most are the ZZ13 ads. Actually, I hate them all. In 1989-1994 we were stationed in Germany. We are now in Okinawa, Japan and they are showing some of the same commercials.

AFN has improved though. Back then we had one channel. Now we get 13 AFN channels, plus some Direct TV delayed shows with regular commercials.

My family moved to Saudi Arabia when I was 4. My dad had a civilian contract w/McDonald Douglas, later Boeing. AFN was all I knew growing up. And we had two or three channels. Simpsons was a family thing - watch it together or what not. But, when we came back to the states to visit, we'd watch TV and when someone would start to change the channel during commercial, we'd all stop them because they were NEW. lmfao! We lived on Al-Gaim from 1992-1999, when Ta'if Academy closed (Aramco sounds familiar lol) then we moved to PS-1 down in Khamis Mushayt/Asir until Dec. 26, 2001.
At Asir Academy, we had a Journalism class and we videotaped what was goin on in the school, and we'd do our own commercials (one was about the sun, our character was Addy Alien, rip off of Seymore Smoke, Smoke Detector) lol.
I actually miss those commercials, and would LOVE to get a few tapes of them =P. After we moved to the states, about a year and a half went by, but I did miss 'em.
My favorites where more the newer ones like the state and city quizzes, hehe and the back to the drawing board ones, and how things were invented. That's how I came up with ideas for reports when I moved back lmfao.
Anyways, thanks for reading.
-Chels

I'm telling, next Korea stint, I'm getting Slingbox without a doubt. Never have to worry about AFN and their lame commericals...AID LIFE this

"And please, never shake your baby"

Hey Azrael- It doesn't hurt to beat sfety commercials into the heads of Officers either! I ran convoy security in Iraq for MNC-I. 16 negligent discharges in 1 year and all were Officers. Think about that!

haha "Never shake your baby" but can we get new Idenity theft commercials. I'm tired if thick accented hicks and Ms-I-stole-two-just-this-week!

BTW, our local AFN is terrible. Can we get some new creative folks rotated in?

You folks with Direct TV don't complain, we don't get that where we are. I would vote for getting the movie channels off base. That'd be really nice!

Altogether - ditch AFN and move in Direct TV for all our normal TV watching. Not like a simple tilt of the satellite wouldn't fix it. Ahh but wait, it's all about money. Luckily all local commands put in for their plasma screen tvs before money runs out!

The AFN alcholism commercials are part and parcel of the hypocritical military setting. They sell alcohol wayyyyy below what their civilian counterparts do on the economy and then turn around and wonder what is going on. *sigh* Heres another one for you: I was an Army Brat during the 80s when my dad was stationed in Frankfurt. We lived about 5-10 drive from the AFN building which was located next to the PX complex. Anyways, almost like clockwork on a daily basis there would be commercials concerning OPSEC or SAEDA on AFN. But the knuckleheads on AFN would air segments on who was in the field , what they were training on, and how long they would be out there. As a teenager, I asked my dad why they would do that and he would just shake his head in disgust. I silently agreed.

Oh I remember the one where this guy turned his car into a tank in preparation for the autobahn. But seeing the new ones. Who came up with a cat listening in on a mouse?

hey Chels87... crack is bad for you...

Anyone remember the commercials to have a good breakfast?? The wife rips off her robe to the start of music after her husband informs her that he has no time for breakfast today. OH, and so then not only does she rip off her robe to expose her (not so good looking)S&M fetish adorned body. Even backround singers/dancers show up to sing about how you need a good breakfast to start off your day!

They had one with this guy who looked like Ernest too, and it was about FLexibility, Strength, and Endurance....i have these on VHS and wish i could put these up here for you all to see.

For 11 years i only had that ONE channel....and if the president had something to say...everyone was screwed out of whatever show was supposed to be on.

My current "favorites" include the heinous Austin Powers ripoffs, and one specific hydration safety commercial.....

"Eyy, Times out guys! Do you rememb-uh back in boot camp, when yo drill instruc-tuh told you da'hydrate?"

While most make me contemplate smashing my groin with a hammer, those push me over the edge to do so.

ahh public service announcements. don't we all just love 'em?

it's a good thing that the base that I was last stationed at finally installed Americable. what a relief!

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This is all great, but is there anything thats gonna be done about it? Or is there just constant bitching?

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The very best is the Air Force guy talking about quitting smoking and his lips are stained from all the dip. There's even chunks in his teath. I'm not sure if they are being sarcastic or if someone just couldn't see the forest through all the trees.