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The Furby Who Knew Too Much
By John
Once upon a time, there was an air force squadron commander with a heart of gold. Said squadron commander loved his family, a nuclear family by any definition. Which was appropriate, as the squadron commander was in charge of one of the Air Force's 9 strategic missile squadrons.
One father's day, the squadron commander's children presented him with a Furby, a popular interactive stuffed animal that could listen, speak, and even carry on basic conversation. It was a bit of a gag gift, as the squadron commander found the "damn things ugly as sin." Being the good father that he was, the squadron commander proudly took his present into the office the next day, showing off his kids' sense of humor to his subordinates.
"Look," he said to one of his Lieutenants, "the flipping thing talks." After a few minutes of playing with his new toy, the squadron commander pushed the Furby off to the side of his desk. "Anyway, go ahead with your briefing."
The Lieutenant did as he was told, and briefed the squadron commander on some of the new highly classified targeting data that had come down from United States Strategic Command. "Good brief, Jim. I want to know as soon as the guys in the field have this stuff uploaded onto their birds." The Lieutenant saluted and left.
Later that day, the squadron commander's boss -the wing commander- dropped in to check in on things. "Slow day sir," said the squadron commander. "We had some new targeting data come in, all flights were in compliance as of 1430 hours. Hey, did I show you my father's day gift?" The squadron commander flipped on the Furby, and the toy's eyes opened wide.
But to the squadron commander's shock, the Furby began to talk. "Romeo Romeo Foxtrot...." The Wing Commander's eyes were now as wide as the Furby's. "Target data effective at..." The squadron commander's hand flew in like a bullet, half slapping the Furby's back, half fumbling for the "off" switch. "The sunavabitch records," breathed the squadron commander, realizing that -in his failure to turn the Furby off that morning- the stuffed animal had recorded the Lieutenant's entire targeting brief.
"Seems like we've got a bit of a security incident on our hands Bill," said the Wing Commander. "Take care of it. Oh, and that ugly little bastard is now classified Top Secret."
That evening, the squadron commander came home with his head sagging. "Hey dad!" said his daughter, "what did the guys think of your new office decoration!?"
"Sweetheart I've got some bad news," confessed the squadron commander.
"What, dad??"
"We had to have the Furby put to sleep."
To this day, per National Security Agency guidance, all Furbys are banned from secure areas. True story.
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Comments
I've heard that story before. But I heard it was the White House situation room (or whatever it's called). And I heard it from the guy that used to organize the XMas decorations for the West Wing.
I heard the air force version, although I can't remember if it was missiles or bombers. Doesn't matter, no matter where it happened that is a great story. I laughed out loud when the thing started talking in military phonetic.
Furbies... How long was that now?
And imagine how sophisticated they could be if designed with current tech...
Cute story but clearly not true. Furbies have no recoding capability. They give the appearence of learning by starting out speaking "Furbish" with more an more English he longer they have been on and the more stimulus they get. Everything they say is pre-recorded. Pre-2005 Frubies could detect light, being tilted, and sound. Post-2005 Furbies have speech recognition but still no record capability.
what a mood killer, Mike.
Oh, Mike, these are MILITARY GRADE versions of Furby that you can only buy in a PX/BX!!! :)
OH, and I hear the new Furbys are actually the on-board steering command control actuators for the JSF!!! Really!!!
:)
Or, was that the boom controls for the KC-10 ... hmmm ...
Thanks ALOT Mr. Buzzkill! Sheesh, some people...
lol, I was told that it was a true story. And I believed my source.
Then Mike brought it all crashing down.
I did a little more research, and it seems that the NSA banned the little buggers because they had the capacity to "learn."
But I like my story better.
It never hurts to be safe. Are any of you parents out there worried by what's happening to children's toys?
Whatever happened to blocks and Lincoln Logs?
Thanks for your information, i have read it, very good！
Very cool! Congrats on the pairing.
Thanks for your information, i have read it, very good！
Very cool! Congrats on the pairing.
It was a very nice idea! Just wanna say thank you for the information you have shared. Just continue writing this kind of post. I will be your loyal reader. Thanks again.
Thank you very much!
Great post! Hope to be better. Better means more features.
good post,I think so!
Nice information, I really appreciate the way you presented.Thanks for sharing
Thanks for the help dear!
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Ha!!!
I LOVE that story ... :)