UAV Op-Ed

The Onion never fails to bring “teh funny,” thanks to reader Brian L. for sending this gem along…

Sensors Indicate That You’re Setting Up For a Kickass Party

by A MQ-1 Predator Drone

Well, now, would you take a gander at what a routine 10-by-50-klick sweep of the U.S.-Mexico border has turned up on both visible-spectrum and ultra-infra? Seems a group of 12 to 14 local males has assembled a promising array of edible/potable organics along with both a high-potential-energy controlled heat source and a large-capacity solid-water encapsulation right in this here topologically consistent area! By which I mean, of course, a meat-griller, a beer-chiller, and a natural dance floor. You know, if my predictive diagnostics didn’t know any better, I’d say that there has the makings of one hell of a shindig.

This is one scene that’s definitely worth establishing a low-sonic-output, nap-of-the earth reconnaissance patrol around. I think I’ll just set myself a few waypoints that let me sniff the smoke and take in the sights, such as… Yes! My onboard predictive-aquifer map was right; the arroyo’s filled up with nice cool rainwater. Perfect for skinny-dipping—and who just happens to have the finest array of undetectable airborne video equipment money can buy? That’s right. Can’t wait till the girls get here!

Read the whole thing.